


Double-Oh Skyguy

by MalcolmInSpace



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - James Bond Fusion, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-20
Updated: 2015-03-20
Packaged: 2018-03-18 19:11:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3580710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MalcolmInSpace/pseuds/MalcolmInSpace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Q is forced to intervene after Anakin Skywalker, his top 00 agent, creates a mess in Moscow.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Double-Oh Skyguy

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Elenothar](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elenothar/gifts).



> Prompt: . James Bond AU: Obi-Wan as long-suffering Q, Anakin as brash 007 who keeps almost getting himself killed.

The snow that was falling outside in slow, fat flakes was still melting into Q’s beard as berated his two top agents. It was passing midnight, but Moscow was now quiet. Every few minutes sirens wailed outside, causing all three people in the cluttered, musty safehouse to clench up until the noise receded. No way to tell if the Russians were coming for them or if it was just another Saturday night on the heaving stage exposed when the Iron Curtain was drawn back. Of course it might just be curtains for us, Q reflected, and had to stroke his neatly trimmed beard to smother the desire to smirk. He maintained an impressive scowl.

“So, please,” he said drily, “explain to me what two agents of Her Majesty’s Most Secret Service were doing inside a heavily guarded Russian laboratory that also _just happened to be on fire._ Hmm? Any explanation? 007? Ms. Tano?”

The pair looked at each other and then down at the ground. Ahsoka covered by busying herself shaking snow and ash from the thickly curled piles of hair she’d freed from her usual on-mission buns.

“I’m waiting, 007.”

There was a long silence before Skywalker responded. “It was Grievousovitch. We heard a rumour the General was there.”

Q groaned internally. The General was an old enemy from the bad old days of the KGB and he was as slippery, you could suggest cowardly if you were feeling uncharitable, as he was cunning and if he really was involved then something big was up. Still, that didn’t justify two well-known agents starting fires and running gun battles in downtown Moscow. Skywalker and Tano obviously knew this but had done and would do it again regardless, judging by 007’s defiant expression and Tano’s careful lack of one. Q sighed aloud. “And was he there?”

007 scowled, making the scar down his cheek stand out even more. “No, he was already gone-“

“He was there!” It was almost a growl and Q raised his hands for peace. “He _was_ there, and he left some of his pet guard behind to clean up. They’re the ones who set the fire, and they were about to start on the lab techs when we intervened.”

“I don’t suppose you managed to get a hold of one of these techs, so we could perhaps interrogate them?”

Skywalker’s deepening scowl was eloquent. “No, they all ran. I was... busy?”

“Busy,” Q asked, “what could you possibly have been busy with?”

“He was on fire,” Ahsoka put in brightly.

“Oh, you were on _fire_. Yes, I suppose that’s a good reason to ignore the mission objectives of an unauthorized mission you undertook against my express orders.”

“I wasn’t on fire!”

“Ms. Tano says you were.”

“You were,” Ahsoka added in her _needling 007_ tone.

“Well, only a little,” Skywalker grumbled.

Q massages the bridge of his nose. “So, to sum up, you broke cover to break into a secret Russian government laboratory, got lit on fire – yes, I know, don’t interrupt- burned the place down, let all the useful people escape and finally got chased away by Greviousovitch’s personal guard. And all because you heard a rumour the General was in town. Does that all sound right?”

Skywalker scowled even more, which Q hadn’t thought was physically possible. “We weren’t _chased_ away.”

“You were running down the street while they shot at you. What would you call that, Ms. Tango?”

Ahsoka froze, wide eyes standing out against her dark skin. “Uh,” she hesitated, caught between the need to stick up for her mentor and the implacable pressure of Q’s stare, “it was a strategic extraction under fire?”

“Of course. Well, this has been charming, as always, but now it’s time to be leaving this city before we all wind up at the mercies of President Dookusov’s hospitality. Now-“

Skywalker shot to his feet. “What about the General?”

“I thought you said he was gone.”

“Yes, but if you’d stop smirking into your beard for a moment as listen, I’ll tell you what I found.” Ahsoka cleared her throat. “What _we_ found.”

“Oh, do go on.”

“ _Thank_ you.” Skywalker and Tano clustered around the table and unrolled a well-worn map of western Russia and the Caucasus, scrawled with Cyrillic. “We know the lab was manufacturing something for the General, but we don’t know what, but we found shipping contains that were routed through Tbilisi.”

“And how did you find that?”

“That doesn’t really matter-“

“We hid behind them while they shot at us,” Ahsoka said, smirking at 007’s obvious discomfort.

“Tactical cover, surely,” Q said, returning the smirk.

“ _Anyways_. It seems likely the raw materials were smuggled into Russia across the Georgian border. If we could find who the smuggler was-“

“Hondo,” Q interjected. “If there’s weapons smuggling in the Caucasus then Hondo is involved, or at least knows about it. What about the General?”

Skywalker stabbed one finger in the map, like he could crush whatever stood at that well-marked spot. “Here, just outside the Ukrainian border. This site clearly has ties to that one, and we’ve been hearing rumours for months that Grievousovitch is involved with what’s going on in Crimea.”

“I don’t like this at all. Dookusov has been wanting to gain a Black Sea port for years, and now the General has some mystery weapon.”

“So Snips and I go and find Grievousovitch and put a stop to him, once and for all.”

Q stroked his beard and stared at the map. “No. No, you two will head to Tbilisi and talk to Hondo. We need to know what we’re dealing with.”

Skywalker and Tano protested, words stumbling over each other. “What about the General? We can’t just let him run free!”

“Oh, we won’t. I’m going after him. The General and I have... unfinished business.”

“Fine. But we’re coming after you as soon as we’re done rattling Hondo’s cage.”

“Oh, I’m rather counting on it. Nothing is ever straightforward when the General is involved.”

 


End file.
